Namine, Someday
by Gemini Lazarus
Summary: He looked me directly in the eye, and the intensity of his gaze made me shudder. "Do you know what a heart is, my dear?" Eventual Namine/Larxene; warnings for, but not limited to, gaslighting, some emotional/physical abuse, sexual harassment, threats, and blackmail. POSSIBLY DISCONTINUED. I KNOW.
1. prologue

In the beginning, I was alone.

It started with pain. My very existence was a ripping, shredding, excruciating thing. I was torn from the cloud of the unconscious into life, and it was wholly awful in every way. I could not make a sound, I could not see. I only suddenly felt, and then I was falling.

 _What's... What's happening to me? Falling, falling into darkness_ , I thought. I was utterly alone, and for me to feel this way led me to believe I must not have always been so. Something was missing. Something _important_ was missing. I fell in the darkness this way for some time, gripped by fear. Shadows did not swirl around me as I passed through. It was a still, utterly motionless, pitch black place.

After the initial shock and displacement of my birth settled into an aching, but tedious, sensation, I stopped falling. My feet met gently with a hard surface, as if I had not been falling before, but floating. Then, gravity rushed over me, and I collapsed on this surface. It was freezing to the touch, but the thought of trying to stand in the darkness was too daunting. Crawling on my hands and knees, both growing numb with cold, I steadily moved in one direction. I didn't know what I was searching for, only that I was searching. _Something important_.

I progressed this way, crawling, and crawling, and crawling. I learned that the darkness was indeed vast. My hands groped for something, anything at all, just something to give me an idea of where I could be or even why. Only the frigid smooth ground met my fingertips. I wanted very badly to give up and just stop moving, for all my progress seemed pointless, and yet giving up was so foreign a concept to me. I felt disgust at the mere idea. So, I continued on, despair clinging to me like a parasitic shroud, sucking the purpose and life out of me with every inch I moved forward.

It seemed as though the longer I spent in the dark Ether, the more hopeless I felt. It couldn't have been long before I felt salty tears roll down my cheeks, and though I still could not see, bringing a hand up to paw at my own face confirmed that I had started crying. The darkness was oppressive, crowding in all around me with its impressive density. I can't explain why, or how I came to this conclusion, but I knew then that I was certainly trapped, and that there was no escape, and that the darkness would soon engulf me, leaving nothing behind.

As soon as I felt all this... then _he_ appeared.

It was as if a beam of light cut through the heavy darkness, pushing it back and away from me, making its looming presence break apart scatter like roaches. Suddenly I could look down at myself and see; all pale and white and trembling. An intoxicating floral smell wafted over me, like a blanket of security and warmth, and my gaze snapped up to a most impressive sight.

A tall imposing figure stood before me, cloaked in the very same inky-black that had moments ago spelled out my demise, though in that moment I felt no fear. Only relief. Then he spoke, with deep toned authority and grace, and it was like God himself had opened up the heavens to lean down and address me directly.

"Ah, there you are, my dear," he mused. "It seems you've traveled quite far." He knelt down to my hunched form, and held out a hand. An offering, an escape, an answer. A resolution.

I took it gratefully, and he helped me stand on quivering legs, and he led me into Oblivion.

* * *

 **heya folks, Gem here! anyways heres a little doc i found gathering dust in my folders. i started it like, 2 years ago and only vaguely remember what i was going for, but i saw an opportunity to take what i had and run with it. IMPORTANT NOTES: there will be mentions of slash, probably gratuitous femslash, and this entire thing is going to run off of mainly guesswork, headcanons, and probably a tiny dash of Blatant Disregard for Actual Canon. future chapters will be longer, as this is meant to be only a prologue. chapters may vacillate between POVs. i hate writing in first person, but i love writing namines POV so what can u do lol. this will most likely never be beta read, so yall pointing out mistakes would help a lot. i am only a small trash child, in a world full of awesome talent and greatness. i thank thee for your time, and stay tuned! 3**


	2. swim and sleep(like a shark does)

After I took his hand, he led me through the seam he ripped in the darkness. We emerged in a hall bathed in light; impressive marble columns stretched up to a high ceiling, and the floor looked glossy and polished. I felt if I looked closely enough, I could probably see my own reflection. Instead, I gazed up at the tall man next to me, and saw that he was still holding onto my hand firmly. He continued on walking, and I had no choice but to be pulled along, but I didn't really mind.

I cleared my throat after a moment, glancing around nervously. The space of the hall seemed freeing at first, but as we ventured further and further down I became uneasy. It seemed to go on and on without end, like some sort of infinite labyrinth. I shuddered.

"Um," I began, "Where are we?"

The question didn't seem to surprise him, because he didn't react at all. Or answer. So I tried again.

"E-excuse me," I cursed my meek stutter, "Where are-"

"In good time, Namine," his voiced carried that same deep timbre from before. He sounded amused.

"Namine..." I mused, and was blanketed by a faded sense of realization. "That's my name?" My tone carried the inflection of a question, but I knew the answer.

"Yes," confirmed the man absently. He was looking around, everywhere, like he was searching for something. Dressed in a heavy-looking black cloak with the hood up, when he looked all over like that, he was forced to turn his whole head, and I thought for a moment that it was rather comical. After few more moments of walking and searching, he perked up like he had found what he was looking for.

I was led suddenly over to the wall of the corridor, to a space nestled between two impressive columns. At first I couldn't fathom what could possibly be special about this section of the wall, but then the cloaked man passed his hand over it, and I saw a door. I was taken aback, but the apparent sorcery did not surprise me for some reason. So, I concluded that magic was ordinary, and filed that snippet of info away for later.

The door that he had summoned was a bit more ornately decorated that the rest of the castle, but no less imposing and elegant. It was framed in gold trim, and up high in the center was a symbol vaguely resembling a cross and fleur-de-lis. It felt appropriate. Abruptly, the man let go of my hand and began digging around in his pockets, again searching.

After feeling around for a second or two, he produced a gold key, one that held the same symbol as that on the door. He jammed the key into the lock without ceremony, and unlocked the door with a soft _click!_

I watched this process in awe. He opened the door, and gestured inside with a wide arc. I stood there for a moment, not understanding what he was getting at. Then, he nodded his head towards the room, and I scurried in, a smidgen embarrassed. He followed silently after, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Within the room I noticed a few things right away. It, like the hall, was completely white and very large, though this room carried with it a softer atmosphere than that main corridor had. Tucked away in the far corner was a small bed, and next to it sat a plain-looking dresser. More eye-catching, however, and more towards the center of the room, was a long white table, surrounded by tall white chairs.

I was startled by the man brushing swiftly past me, walking forward to pull out one of said chairs.

"Come, sit," he requested. Still in a bit of shock from everything that had happened, I did so delicately, and allowed him to push my chair in towards the table. I felt numb, which was a stark contrast to the intensity of what I'd felt not long earlier.

I picked nervously at the hem of my own dress, which, unsurprisingly at this point, was as white as the rest of this place had been so far. I noticed with a pleasant hum however, that the hem had a small amount of beautiful lace on it. I felt that it was appropriately my taste, and found a small piece of comfort in it. Across the table from me, the man pulled out his own chair and sat down with a flourish. I couldn't help but think he looked very graceful.

"Now, we can talk," he declared quietly. "I trust you have many questions." As he spoke, he reached up and removed his hood in one smooth motion, revealing a stunning pink mane and shimmering emerald eyes. I felt captivated at the sight.

"Um, yeah," I said. "A lot of questions."

He chuckled, "Well, Namine, my name is Marluxia. It is a pleasure to meet you, my dear."

I nodded. "You as well," I avoided his eyes, instead looking up at the ceiling, my sight finding a grand chandelier that hung there. "Um, where are we?"

"Castle Oblivion," he stated simply. "Specifically, your new room therein."

I gasped, eyes snapping down to finally meet his. "My- _my_ room?" I couldn't believe it. I still had no idea exactly how this man had found me, or why he'd brought me to this grand and enchanting place, and now I was being told there was a room for _me_. _There's just no way... I'm... I'm_ nobody _, why is all this happening?_

"Yes. Everything in this room is yours-a gift from me to you. It's a bit bare at the moment, I'm afraid. I wasn't quite sure what you would like." He stroked his chin between his thumb and forefinger, looking thoughtful and remorseful, "I'm sure with time, though, you'll acquire items as you please and can decorate it on your own."

My jaw dropped, and I felt a small prick of dread pierce my stomach. "There must have been some misunderstanding," I started, voice wavering. "You must have the wrong person. I-I'm not anyone special. Surely... Surely this can't all be for me."

While I loved the room, and deeply appreciated Marluxia saving me from that darkness, he was bound to find out eventually that I wasn't extraordinary like he must have thought. I certainly didn't feel deserving of this gift. After all, I hadn't even done anything yet. I felt like the only thing I'd ever done was get lost, and it was true! I'd only started existing a short time before Marluxia found me. It just didn't make sense.

Marluxia furrowed his brows. "But you _are_ special, Namine."

I shook my head. "No, I'm-I can't explain how I know it, but I'm nobody. I can't _be_ ," my voice cracked and I trailed off. I felt an emptiness within me that reminded me too much of the darkness I'd emerged from. Scared that I was going to start crying and make a fool of myself in front of this impressive man, I kept my gaze mostly on my hands, which I had fisted in the skirt of my dress. I glanced up long enough, however, to catch a look of frustration pass over Marluxia's face, before being quickly replaced by one of concern.

"That's exactly why we need you," he said. "You're a _Nobody_ -" I flinched, and when he noticed this, he paused to get up and come over to my side of the table, taking quick long strides as he went. He kneeled down beside me, and took my hands in his. "Perhaps things will make more sense after I explain the situation?"

I eyed him dubiously, but nodded for him to continue. I didn't trust my voice; everything felt so overwhelming, and I was so confused-I didn't feel like I could talk without bawling like a helpless infant.

"I belong to an organization; we're called Organization XIII. I'm the eleventh member. Each member is a being called a Nobody," he revealed. I sniffed, feeling as though nothing had been cleared up.

"A Nobody?" I whimpered pathetically.

"Yes, a Nobody," he affirmed. "We're," he hummed, closing his eyes. "How to put this...To state it plainly, we lack hearts." He looked me directly in the eye, and the intensity of his gaze made me shudder. "Do you know what a heart is, my dear?"

"I think so," I rasped, racking my brain for whatever knowledge I could dredge up, surprised to find that I _did_ have some idea of what he was talking about. I couldn't fathom why I'd know what a heart was, or anything, for that matter, but the knowledge seemed innate, like it was a part of me. "I-It's your soul, isn't it? It's the source of emotions and passion... the essence of a person." I looked back to him for confirmation, and he smiled thinly at me, seeming pleased.

"Very good, Namine." He gave my hands a light squeeze.

I thought for a moment, realizing something. "Without a heart, you'd be..." I couldn't find the words to finish the thought, but one look back at Marluxia made me regret starting it in the first place. He looked pained, brows pinched and eyes misty.

"That's right," he replied, voice gruff. "The Organization-that's our ultimate goal. To restore our hearts." He brought one of his hands up to caress my cheek gently, wiping away a stray tear in the process. "You're a Nobody, Namine, like us. We Nobodies have to stick together, right?"

"A Nobody..." I repeated quietly. It all seemed so bizarre and strange, and yet with my whole heart I believed that Marluxia was being honest. This was the truth; I, Namine, am a Nobody.

He caressed my cheek once more and stood. "Maybe that's enough talking for today. I wouldn't want to overload you with so much new information, and you must be quite exhausted from your ordeal?" he asked, and I nodded. "I thought as such. I'll leave you to process all this, and to get used to your new habitation."

The thought of him leaving me alone made me uneasy. "You're going to leave me?" I panicked, my heart rate increasing at the mere thought of it.

Marluxia pet my hair, calming me a little. "Only for a while; I promise I'll return." He cleared his throat and muttered something under his breath. All of a sudden it seemed like black vines and radiant fuchsia petals burst forth from his sleeve in a glittering cloud of pink smoke. The fumes from the smoke made me cough, and Marluxia fanned them away from my face, apologizing. "Sorry," he said, and shook the fumes away from his hand. In his grasp was a small, rose-colored, round bell, with intricate floral carvings covering its surface.

"It's beautiful," I whispered in awe.

"Thank you, dear," said Marluxia. "If you need anything at all while I'm gone, ring this bell. I can't promise I'll be able to come see you right away, since your arrival has made me very busy. However, I _do_ promise to at least send someone else in my stead." He placed the bell on the table, stepping away from me towards the door. "Try to get some rest, though. You're going to be very busy yourself before too long."

I tilted my head. _What sort of things will I be doing?_ I thought. Before I could give voice to the question, Marluxia was already at the door, fingers poised on the handle.

"Oh, and before I forget," he said, turning his face to look at me from the corner of his eye. "Namine, do _not_ leave this room." He stepped out of the room in a flash after that, shutting the door gently behind him. A second later my ears picked up a soft _click!_

"Hm." I stayed seated for a while, just mulling over everything. _There's still so much I don't know_ , I mused. In any case, I was elated to be free of that darkness. _I don't know where that was, but I'm sure I never want to go there again_.

I let my fingers absentmindedly trace patterns in the smooth, polished wood of the table. As I did so, I swung my legs back and forth, since I was _just_ short enough to not touch the ground while sitting in the large chair.

 _I still wonder how I got here, though. Or who else is in the Organization... Or why Marluxia doesn't want me to leave my room._ Suddenly curious, I jumped off the chair and strolled over to the door.

 _I thought I heard the lock... but I have to check and be sure_ , I resolved. I gripped the door handle tightly, just holding it a second, before I finally tried turning it.

The handle did not budge. I tried again, with more force, but it only rattled the door in its frame. I sighed, perplexed, but I saw no reason to keep trying. It would only cause a ruckus.

"So, locked in," I muttered to myself. "I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason," I reasoned. _Like, maybe the Castle is dangerous? For all I know there's traps and beasts everywhere, and he just doesn't want my wandering into them. Although, his warning would have been more than enough, and why there would be such things here is a mystery in and of itself..._

Taking a deep breath and sighing again, I made my way back towards the middle of the room. _I may as well do as he said and take this time to better acquaint myself with my surroundings_ , I concluded. I let my eyes sweep over the room, and for the first time noticed that it lacked any sort of window. My memory told me the corridor hadn't had any either. It didn't strike me as abnormal, but I wondered if maybe this level of the Castle was underground.

Taking my eyes up to the ceiling, I inspected the chandelier I had noticed earlier during my conversation with Marluxia. It was quite large, though not nearly as grand and intricate as I had thought earlier. A giant white sphere was positioned in the center of it, framed and held up by a large gold ring. Branching off from the ring were thin gold branches that swirled down in a loop. Overall, I thought it was quite pretty.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, realizing something. _That must be where the light is coming from_ , I thought. There didn't seem to be any other possible light sources in the room, yet it was bright and well-lit. The orb must have been infused with some sort of light-magic. _That theory's shaky, but it would definitely explain it. Not that I know that much about magic._

Moving on, I brushed past the table, since I didn't figure I'd gleam much information from it after sitting there for the past half-hour. I made my way towards the far corner of the room, across the table from the door, where my bed and dresser where.

 _My bed and dresser... What a novel concept._ I thought. _I don't think I've ever owned anything before._ I stood before the bed for a brief period, hands on my hips, wondering how I might go about examining it.

"Hehehe," I giggled, my whole face lighting up with an idea, before I stuck my arms out in a 'T' and let myself fall forward, face-first in a heap on the covers. It wasn't as bouncy as I thought it looked, but nevertheless it felt nice. I laid there, just enjoying the soft, giving feel of the mattress. At once, a wave of exhaustion came over me.

"It would be okay if I just took a small nap now, right?" I mumbled blearily. I arranged myself so that my head rested comfortably on the pillow at the head of the bed, and pulled the cover around me. It was thinner than it looked, but velvety, and I soon found myself drifting from drowsy to feeling downright listless. The more tired I felt, the darker the room got to accommodate for this, and I distantly thought that the magic from the chandelier must have some part to play in that.

I snuggled myself deeper into the bedding. As slumber came over me, I whispered to myself, "Sweet dreams, Namine..."

* * *

Running down a sandy beach. The breeze colors the sky a brilliant blue. The waves brush our ankles; we don't care. We're laughing. We're racing. They're beating me-I'm winning. We're laughing. It's right. The sand disapproves, but he's happy too.

I'm catching up to them. I'm letting her win.

We're all sitting, watching the ocean. It's beautiful. The three of us break a star-shaped fruit. We roll in the sand. We have to eat the fruit. We laugh. Before it's too late, we have to eat the fruit. The fruit rots in our hands. It falls to pieces, landing in the sand. We cannot roll in the sand.

The wind picks up. The sands shift and move like a fluid being. She falls behind us-I fall. The sand is scratching her-me.

She's screaming; I can't help her because the wind is taking her away now. I'm being taken far away. The breeze colors the sky a dark, swirling, tumultuous gray. The waves grow. They're huge. Beside me, he doesn't notice. He's crying. I can't see them anymore; I'm very far away. The stars are crying. A meteor shower.

The waves carry me away, while the sky swallows me up. I'm sinking. I'm falling. I'm sinking. I'm falling. I'm drowning, I'm screaming, I'm drowning, I'm _choking, and I can't breathe, I'm pierced and darkness runs from me like a stream and I can't_ -

* * *

 **AAAAAAAAAAND THERE IT IS! haha cliffhanger. i kind of went back and forth on whether i should include the dream sequence in this chapter or the next, but i felt it was a bit short anyway so i decided to just throw it in. again, pointing out mistake would be greatly appreciated! im serious! i wanna know what you guys like and dont like! anyways, now its time for, dadadada, drumroll, IMPORTANT NOTES: forgot to mention this in the prologue's AN, but their ages are meant to be somewhat ambiguous. nothing super explicit happens in this story as far as ive planned, but to be safe, and because i feel the characters would interact better if their ages were more uniform, im imagining most everyones somewhere around 18 here (excluding saix, xigbar, luxord, xemnas, and characters like that. this is sort of what i mean by blatant disregard for actual canon lol.) OH and one more thing, do not expect this timeline to match up completely with that of canon. while towards the beginning its going to sort of fit, at one point, without spoiling too much, its going to go way way WAY off the rails into actual Canon Divergence territory. so, yeah, lol.**

 **one last thing; im trying to write this so that there arent any bad guys. that means good character that are written to be likeable are going to do some dubious things. this fic is a moral gray area. from henceforth id just like to state that just because i like these characters, and just because you might too, that in no way excuses the behavior youre going to see later. just because im writing them fairly doesnt mean i endorse these things either. what im trying to say is that good people do bad things sometimes, and its not justified, but thats life, and sometimes vilifying people and branding them as all bad or all good only works in fiction. ironic since this is fiction, right? anyway, enough rambling. see you when i get chapter 2 done!**


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